Pranks, Plots, and Living with the Cullens
by BellaRose8208
Summary: Funny one-shots about life with the Cullens.


GAH

**GAH! This took me FOREVER to get up. I'm SOOO sorry about that. School has been insane. (Yes I know it hasn't been going on that long yet, tell that to my teachers!) But I've also had some friend issues I've had to deal with. So, I am proud to (finally) present… Pranks, Plots, and Other Parts of Living with the Cullens.**

**This will be a series of multiple funny one, (and maybe two or three) shots. As of right now it WILL ALL BE IN BELLA'S POV. However my mood is subject to change A LOT! XDThey will start off with Bella as a human during the engagement, and sometime in the middle switch to after Nessie is born. **

**Stephenie owns ALL the characters. The Salish Spa is real, a link will be placed on our profile.**

**WARNING: If you are looking with a story that has a regular plot line, don't bother with this one.**

**This is Teen for a reason; there will be some mild cursing in it later on in the story. (But nothing as bad as the f-word)**

Chapter One: Why me?

Edward was hunting with his brothers which left me little to do other then read. Or at least, that's what I thought this morning, before I was brutally kidnapped.

"Alice, why won't you tell me where we're going?" I asked my best friend.

"Two reasons; one, I want to surprise you, and two, if I tell you you'll complain. So I'm not telling." She retorted.

I ground my teeth in frustration.

"Alice, what are we doing?"

She laughed, not at all worried my obvious aggravation.

"I'm not telling," she answered in a sing-song voice.

"Ugh, can't you find someone else to annoy?"

Laughing, she responded, "I could, but it's so much fun to bug you!"

"Greeeat," I mumbled under my breath, which she heard of course. That just set Alice off into another fit of giggles.

"We'll be there soon Bella, I promise."

I figured I wouldn't get anything else out of her, so I settled back to enjoy the fast ride in the Porshe.

oOo

About 2 hours later, we were driving up to a building that had the words _Salish Lodge and Spa_ on the front of it.

"Alice? What are we doing here?" I asked nervously.

"SPA DAY!" Alice squealed so loudly that I couldn't hear for a few seconds. "You'll love it, come on!"

"I'm not so sure about that," I murmured to myself, but Alice ignored me as always.

"Come on!" She yelled and pulled me into the spa.

The second I was in the doors Alice pulled me to the front desk.

"We have a reservation. It's under Cullen."

The woman typed something into her computer and answered, "Right! For two Cascade Escapes, correct?"

Alice nodded.

"Alright, if you would just follow me," the woman said and Alice and I down a hallway. She pointed the room Alice was to go in and led me into another room. This room was dimly lit with soft music playing.

"Please get ready and lay on the bed, Rachel will be in shortly to massage you," she informed me and left.

I stripped down to my underwear and quickly crawled under the white sheet on the table. A minute or two later a woman entered. She had long, wavy brown hair in a ponytail, lightly tanned skin, and brown eyes.

"Hi," she said in a soft voice. "I'm Rachel. I understand this is your first hot rock massage. All you have to do is relax."

"Okay," I said and focused on unwinding.

I felt a warm stone place on my back and decided too enjoy this luxury my maid of honor had given me.

oOo

After the massage, a Chamomile- Lavender body exfoliation, a facial, and a 'foot revitalizer', I was sitting a wet room, covered in mud and wrapped. Alice was sitting next to me, relaxing. Suddenly she sat up a bit and looked at me.

"Bella, I want to talk to you."

"About what Alice?" I asked smiling at her.

Then she sighed.

"I don't know; everything! We're best friends! Let's gossip a bit, complain a bit, just for fun," she said to me.

"What do you want to gossip about Alice?" I questioned her guessing she already had something in mind. I was right.

"Well, first of all did you SEE Lauren's outfit the other day? I mean who wears orange tights with a black skirt and a purple top unless it's October? No one with fashion sense! And can you believe what Katie did to her hair? Blonde does not work with her skin tone. Plus, what about…."

Alice went on like this for the whole mud wrap, and I just sat there and nodded at the right parts.

When they told us our treatment was done and that we could leave, I grabbed my clothes, got dressed and met Alice in the lobby.

"Ready to go Bella?"

"Sure thing Alice, lets leave."

We got to her Porshe, got in, and headed home.

oOo

As soon as we arrived at the Cullen's I hopped out of the car and went inside.

"Looks like you survived," Esme laughed.

"It was fun, for the most part. Let's just say I'm happy Rosalie loves to gossip."

**Please review! Remember, this was just the first chapter and the next ones will be better and I'll try to make them longer as well. I am looking for a beta so please let me know if you're one, and I'll check out your profile. I am one as well if you would like any stories beta'd. Thanks! **


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